I’ve always felt divided, disconnected. Only certain parts of me are appropriate for display depending on my company or audience. It’s as though i have different versions of myself, each one customized to please a certain person or group. Then, when two of these persons or groups coincide, i’m forced to choose between versions or, as is more often the case, just malfunction and feel excruciatingly awkward. I’m not sure if this is normal and/or unhealthy, but perhaps it’s time i consolidate. I just fear i’ll alienate the few people in my life by doing so, but i think some consistency and congruity might make me feel better in general.
so, this is me. welcome.
I think that’s called being fake.
dolly llama
January 8th, 2007
Although I believe that dolly llama’s statement is true on an extremely wide scale I would also classify such behavior as ‘courteous.’ The latin root of the word of course not only suggests courtesy but also the idea of a ‘fortress,’ something that I like to think of as a fundament to the idea of cilivization.
In short, we don’t kill each other because we play nice. (Even when we don’t want to.)
Now as to your concerns, I choose to address the latter much more so than the former, which I consider simply a condition of interacting with the rest of society. Your true friends should already be in touch with your core being and therefore be unfazed by any change in outward behavior, and anyone who is actually alienated by a determined endeavor to be true to oneself should most likely be left in the wayside anyway.
So that is you, and thank you.
Jocko
February 11th, 2007